Grant has been a stalwart in between the sticks all season. Grant has made some crucial saves this season, who could forget the penalty saves against Allandar in the cup and the league tie against Crosslands, with the score tied at 0-0 at the time. We went on to win both games 1-0. Grant likes the figure zero, he has had 12 clean sheets between league and cup games. The zero also applies to the number of totes he has sold and the Thursday night training sessions he has attended.
Aims for next season: achieve more clean sheets, sell totes and get your arse to training.

Goldie has been an ever-present this seaon, apart from when he turned up pissed. He has been used in a variety of positions and never complained once. He has a terrific engine, up and down the park all day. He just has to master the art of using his neck muscles to look up when he runs with the ball and to coss it to a team-mate. Goldie has helped with the presentation night by printing the tickets, but rumour has it they had to be redone as the first batch said "Toddy Athletic Presentation Night". His hero apparently.
Aims for next season: kick the drink, learn to pass to other guys in the team that are not called Toddy.

Ronnie has had a great season (his words) and scored some crucial goals (well 2). They were 2 glorious shots from outside the area: one against Allandar and one against Renfrew, both were meant to be crosses, but ended up in the back of the net, although Ronnie said he meant it (aye right). Cue advert, "Carlsberg don't make left backs, but if they did Ronnie would probably be the best left back in the world."
Aims for next season: learn to tackle, get rid of that black jacket he wears to every night out and stop getting barred from local pubs. p.s. baths are for washing in.

Tucker was the team captain but was stripped of it, and rightly so, he turned up on match day with a dreadful haircut - you couldn't have the captain looking like something that had been dragged through a hedge backwards. Tucker also models himeself on a short lived Rangers legend Bertie Bombscare, he also thought he was a footballer. Tucker speaks his mind much to the dismay of his team-mates. He stated that he was never in a losing side and his 10 minutes against Allandar didn't count. We have news for you Tuck, the 4-1 defeat to Invac was arranged so we didn't have to listen to you going on. Think about it, the sitters that both Frank and John missed that night were meant.
Aims for next season: stop making bold predictions and find a decent barber.